Aria's E-astle.

Bottling up

Depression lies in all teenagers. Most usually bottle them up, putting on a fake smile as if they were acting and fooling everyone around them. But deep inside you know everyone will find out.

Take an example like me, Aria. A young girl who’s bubbly on the outside but is truly depressed on the inside. It’s just like following a recipe, a cup of depression, a spoon full of anxiety and a hint of disguise and you get a girl like me. Now let's get on with this boring life of mine.

Wednesday, 4:00 in the afternoon, locked up in my room, not caring about all the dramas that are happening in the world. Except for one. “YOU ALWAYS COME HOME DRUNK!” I can hear my Mom and dad fighting again. “BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN STRESSING A LOT!” My dad says. It’s like every day they are always like this. Hoping that it would stop but…. No.

That whole time they were fighting I was staring at a pocket knife and as I knew it, it was in my hand and the blade was on my bare skin. As if lightning struck my door slammed open. “Hey Ari- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” said my dad. I stayed silent, closing my hand into a tight fist as my knuckles turn pale as snow, my vision turns blurry from the tears that are welled up in my eyes. “What in the world is going- ARIA JURY, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” “I-I didn’t mean t-” “HOW DID WE RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!”  After hearing those words I stormed out of the house.

It took a few minutes for me to realize I had nowhere to go. I started making my way to my happy place where only me and my best friend go when we are in our down moments. I arrived and sat on the soft sand looking up to the greyish clouds.

“What have I gotten myself into? I didn’t ask for all this” It was cold, actually more like freezing. I don’t know why I didn’t bring a jacket with me until two arms wrapped around me giving me warmth. I knew exactly who it was and started to burst out crying. “E-Eva I wi-wish I was in a bottle where nothing can tr-ry and hu-urt me-e,”

“Shhh just let it all out and you will feel better,” she said.

It took a couple of minutes to calm down and tell her about what's been going on in my life. She had no idea what I was going through and was upset that I didn’t tell her. She knew that I shouldn’t have kept it in because I was the only one getting hurt from all the pain “Well the only way that this problem can be solved is to talk to your parents, tell them what you’ve been through and they’ll understand”

It took a while for me to think about Eva’s advice but sooner or later I made my choice. Leading to my situation right now, face to face with my parents. Telling them that I have been through hell throughout my life. There were moments where I would look at them deeply and could tell that they never knew I felt like this and I should’ve told them.

5 years later

We moved towns meaning that we agreed to start a new life instead. Ever since that day, a lot has changed, My parents stopped fighting to cause me to stop hurting myself physically. But I still miss my best friend, she helped me a lot and I wish I could repay her. There were a few down moments but it didn’t last long. Finally, I can have a life that’s in peace.

But heed this: bottling something up would only make yourself feel worse but letting it out will let people support you.

Aria